A Visit With Friends



Sometimes all you need is good old fashioned girl time (and you too Axel) to put you back in place. Last weekend I flew with a great friend and one of the most amazing toddler travel partners of all time to San Jose to visit friends who are expecting a little one of their own in less than four weeks!! I have to say that the speed of someone being so pregnant was exactly the speed I was willing to embrace right now. It was perfect to relax and spend time with friends I consider family. So many years and experiences under our belts and we are still in each others lives. None of it was lost on me, the whole trip I kept thinking how grateful I am for these beautiful women in my life.

Early mornings spent by myself in their comforting home, a walk by the beach of Half Moon Bay, way too much tasty food, and evenings spent catching up and reliving our almost 20 years as friends. It was time well spent.

A New Lightness Of Being

I have been really appreciating our little family lately. With recent events I found myself lost and sad as hell. It's strange how a a simple conversation or interaction with someone will snap you back into the you that you know. The words weren't profound in anyway but my dad said a simple thing that whipped me back to reality. The first day of the new year he said, " What if Haiku lives for another six months, a year?" For some reason that thought had never occurred to me. Strange but true. It was like I was living under a grief blanket that never seemed to warm or console me in any way. I now realize that my premature grief hasn't been doing any of us any good. I am back and ready to live what remaining days we have to the fullest which feels refreshing and so clear finally. This little pup is not going down without a fight. She loves us which is extremely clear and wants to be around, which makes me want to give her the best me in whatever time we have left together.

Also, that guy up there really meant it when he vowed for better or for worse. That kind of sincerity really makes me want to be better. Do better. For us. Love really is all around.

Now back to regular programming.

Recipe Love: Creamy Avocado Pasta

So relieved I finally got around to posting my last post, even though it even depresses me to read it. I obviously needed to write it for some reason and this next one is to show, at least to my mom who I know reads my blog that I am ok. Still eating, and eating well.

I have wanted to start posting recipes that I have tried, tested, and loved for awhile. Comfort food has been at an all time high in our house as of late so this dish from Oh She Glows was perfect considering we had everything needed on hand. This pasta rocks! Rocks! So hard! I have made it 3 times in the past couple weeks. Of course I went heavy on the garlic because we love it and may have done the same with the lemon zest at the end and it was so delicious. I am not a fan of cream sauces or maybe my stomach isn't so this was a perfect vegan recipe for anyone desiring a creamy base and tons of flavor.

photo: Oh She Glows

Us Lately

As the year comes to an end and renewal and reflection seem to be the tone at this time, I can't help but feel at a loss. The hope and wish for change that comes with the passing or start of a new year has stopped me in my tracks.

Almost three months ago when we found out that our beloved little furry old lady has kidney failure we, or I more appropriately lost my shit. The pain in my heart that I know is inevitable is somehow not nourished in any way by the fact that she has lived a good life as so many people have said . It's too short. Way too short.

I got Haiku when I was first living on my own and learning who I wanted to become. I'm still learning, and somehow that person still hasn't or has ever imagined a life without her. She has seen me through my many bad choices, wild nights, and boyfriends that never suited us. Numerous jobs, travel, small stints living in new towns. She has road tripped and kept me semi grounded along the way.

Many years have passed and we have made our way together. She and I, only us, really. We finally met a forever dad for her and a wonderful husband for me that has been lucky to span ten years of her life with her. Somehow, it's not enough. Obviously I know that I must keep it together and hopefully I will, but grief, is one ugly fucking thing. I hope that for her at least, in the end, I can keep a bit of myself together. It really isn't about me now is it? With every thread in my being, I'm trying. So hard. For her.
photo: Ensworth Foto

Three Years

Happy Anniversary Alex!

xo



Sunday

I really should have titled this post " My friends have the cutest kids", because they really do. I know I've said this many, many times before but I love all the little friends we have in our life. It is the best getting to see the little aspects, and sometimes huge parts of their personalities come out. The weekend started off slow with a trip to one of our favorite ramen spots on saturday but ended in a last minute round up of cute kiddos galore at a local park with a few friends. I whipped up a tasty salad to bring with us that seemed to be a hit. Maybe I will post the recipe on here in the next week or so. I wouldn't actually call it a recipe since I just wing it most times but it was a cinch to prepare and turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

After a fun day in the park a few of us "grown ups" made our way down the street to the Blind Lady Ale House for a drink and some food. I love the option to veganize their pizza and I have to say Melissa ordered the best one, pesto pizza with pickled onions! Anything pickled is a hit in my book. So delicious!

Hi! Still here.

Hello again! Here is the proof that we still exist (on the internet at least). I even had a birthday recently to make that a reality. Last saturday was the day, and unlike my last birthday I had opted at the very last minute to ask my dear friend Melissa to make one of the drool worthy dishes she posts on her blog for me and seriously get down to the business of chilling out. My choice was an okra dish, my favorite!  A lot has been going on in our world and somehow being the center of attention felt strange to me this year.

The day after we headed out of town with the lil' furry one to Palm Springs for a few days. There is something about going there that really quiets me and allows me to fully relax. Staying at The Ace makes it way less of a stress since it's dog friendly as well. One thing this anxious mother appreciates. We were able to meet up with Ame and spend some time relaxing by the pool, drinking muddled beverages, listening to records that the man brought (can't get this one out of my head), eating at some of my favorite veggie places and exploring Joshua Tree for the first time. It seems strange that with how much I love going to the desert I had never ventured higher into that desert land. Needless to say I felt I was in a land before time and was overwhelmed by the park and got lost in how truly vast it is and how being there is a playground for the imagination. I'm hoping that our plans for the end of the year work out and we can go explore some more. With adequate shoes this time. Somehow this over packer forgot to bring anything other than open toed shoes.



A Summer Visit

Last week we had a visit from one of Alex's sisters Katie. It was a perfect excuse to abandon our daily routine and get out and soak up every last bit of this summer that we have been enjoying lately. We walked  the trails of the always gorgeous Torrey Pines, lounged on the beach with friends, had lunch at one of my favorite spots with a killer view, a dinner party with my girls, saw Beginners (loved it), made a trip to the desert to show Katie the amazing Salvation Mountain, and even hit up a water park! I forgot how much fun those damn water slides can be. A little water up the nose never hurt anyone. We are already planning another go of it asap. The beginnings of a tan have even crept up on this pale lady. Whoa! I'm not ready for this summer to be over. Not one bit.

Mexico Weekend Pt.2

On the last day of the trip we headed further down the coast to get our serious tourist on and check out La Bufadora, a large blowhole located right next to the cliffs of Punta Banda. A fairly short and windy walk down through all the street vendors yielded us with bags full of objects we never knew we needed until then. Surprisingly I managed to leave with only a belly full of street tacos and a colorful backpack. Quite shocking since the street vendors have their hustle on, big time!

I somehow felt sad leaving the little town, knowing that the end of our trip was coming to a close. I really feel most alive on our little journeys to small places and wonder if and when it could ever be possible to live a life so free. I have been taught to believe that reality is based somewhere between real life, and the luxury of doing exactly what you want to at any given moment, but I can't help think that there has to be a possibility to live this freely always. Or, maybe I'm still younger and more naive than I believe I am. Either way, It was a really memorable getaway that I will cherish.

Mexico Weekend Pt.1

Last weekend we made our way down the coast past Ensenada to a small beach town close to Punta Banda. Getting there was a little difficult when you are relying on directions that tell you to make turns at the dirt road (loads of them), or Pemex gas station (they are on every corner). Things got a little hairy but once we arrived and saw our rented beach house we forgot all about the little detour there that landed us on a tiny dirt road off the beaten path that we named "Chihuahua Alley". The house was to die for. Balconies surrounding the house on every floor with a roof top deck that had an amazing view of the ocean and was perfect for viewing the lush amount of stars on display.

We spent hours lounging on the fine sandy beach, riding horses!!, watching our daredevil friend fly high in the sky, and laughing until our faces hurt. Dinners of tamales from local street vendors and much cerveza that ended in dance parties and nights spent taking the view and ocean air in. It was heaven.