I'm not sure how to describe what I witnessed yesterday when I went to see the Dalai Lama with my best girl Melissa. I had spent the months prior to the experience anticipating the day and hoping that it would shed some light and give me some sort of tool or perspective to guide me through the heart wrenching events that we have gone through recently. I longed to hear something that was going to transform my current state of emotional limbo into something that I could view as greater than me and walk away transformed. Silly me. Such is life right? Never expect too much. I already knew that, duh! That in itself makes me laugh, and laughter, I have found is the best medicine around. That shit is free folks!
The morning that started at 5:15 when I rose started something like this.... wake groggily, shower and get ready, pick Melissa up at 7 am, drive to the shuttle location, shuttle, arrive, view the vast amount (12,000) of people there to witness the event, sort of in awe at how diverse the crowd was, shove a power bar in my hungry mouth, people watch beyond belief, go through metal detectors and have purse searched, make our way to our seat, realize that we have the worst seats ever, grateful that I even have a seat to begin with, play stupid games on Iphone with Meliss right next to me and laugh my ass off, feel grateful that she is my friend, wait 1 1/2 hours for event to begin, watch the pre-show Indian dancing, think how heavy their costumes are and wonder if they are happy to be doing so at 8 am, realize my intense back pain due to bench seating. And then, like the clouds had parted and life could begin, HE emerged!! The man, THE ONE human that I have always wanted to hear speak in person was in front of me. I was calm and present.
As soon as he started talking, my ears and my heart were wide open. I listened, and listened. And then.... I realized that I had a really hard time understanding what he was saying! OH NO, this couldn't be happening!!! I leaned closer, that didn't help, I turned my head, ear to the front, no go! I have seen him speak before on television and didn't have such a hard time trying to decipher what he was saying through his accent, so why? Why now? I was ready and needed it! None of this helped. I saw Melissa writing down notes in her notebook which made me wonder (and giggle to myself) , " Do you speak Dalai Lama?" Not until my bench seating neighbor leaned over after a half hour and asked " Please tell me that I am not the only one who cannot understand him" was I able to see the humour in it. With no disrespect to him do I say this at all, especially because I was raised with a father and grandparents that English is their second language, I just found it very difficult. I blame it on the microphones and vast amount of people there, or possibly the hum of spiritual vibration that was too overpowering for me to hear through. All in all, I am happy that I was in the same room as him, it was grand.
I spent time last evening scouring the internet and found bits and pieces of his words from the event. I realized once again that even though I didn't hear everything he was saying at moments, everything he spoke of is already in me. It always is. I thought that I needed him to tell me (once again), but it is always there, and always will be. I just need to be mindful and present to hear it clearly.
Have a wonderful and present weekend. I plan to do the same. xo