Last tuesday we lost the most amazing creature known to man, our sweet,sweet Haiku. That furry old lady we speak of often.You know her right? As I type this, my eyes well up with tears. Somehow through the intensely shattering experience that particular day, I shed few.
I myself have decided not to bear children of my own. A choice that is always greeted with "the look" that could sink a thousand ships. I feel now that this experience has made me realize that without a human child, I am still a mother. As a very dear friend pointed out to me recently, I raised my dog from the time I was barely out of high school, living on my own, into adulthood. I never gave her up when an apartment I was seeeking at the time didn't take pets. We figured it out, that was never an option. We were home to each other. As I have stated before, we made our way together. She and I, my friend.
I believe that at the end, which was peaceful and still so unbelievably painful and surreal that I didn't shed those tears until after I was able to guide my baby through and onto what was next for her. In that moment, and still days later I feel that I have learned so much about compassion and grace. I was her mother, yet she taught me so much about myself and probably will continue to do so.
RIP Haiku 1996-2012. Such a damn trooper she was, 16 years old. A wise woman for sure. We will love and miss her forever.